All too often, we get so caught up in schedules that are crammed with soccer practice, piano lessons and homeschool planning that we forget one major part of our life: our husbands. But you need to nurture your marriage as a stay-at-home mom and sometimes it can be downright hard.
After a long day at work, he walks through the door to find broken crayons covering the kitchen table, Legos strewn carelessly about and piles of laundry waiting to be put away. The instant noise and chaos of home life can be daunting after spending hard hours punching the clock.
But you’re tired, and walking on the brink of using your “crazy-mom-voice.” You just want to remind our husbands of who you were before you had children. You want your marriage to thrive, while staying home with your kids and juggling the struggles and chaos of mommyhood.
How can you nurture your marriage as a stay-at-home mom when you barely have the energy to shower at the end of the day?
We’ve gathered up a few simple ways to nurture your marriage as a stay-at-home-mom that don’t break the bank or even require you to get out of your comfy pants. 😉
Look Nice for Him:
This doesn’t mean you need to get dressed up everyday or even put on makeup. It does mean that you should be presentable. There are so many days when I haven’t even combed my hair by the time my husband gets home. I jump out of bed, rush to get things done before the kids wake up and then get so busy I forget to take 5 minutes for myself. When my husband rolls home, just before dinner, I look like I just rolled out of bed. I try to remind myself that I should still try to look nice for my husband, just as I did when we were dating. I would’ve never dreamed of showing him my bedhead and yesterday’s makeup at 6:00 pm back then so I try not to do so now.
One of the most important things you can do as your husband arrives home from work is make him feel welcome. He’s had a long day and has been looking forward to coming home to see the ones he loves the most. Don’t be so involved in reading your latest book or cooking dinner that you don’t give him a quick kiss and a hello. Sure, some days you may have to yell your “hey” from the bathroom as you wipe butts, but always try to acknowledge him when he gets home and let him know you’re happy he’s there. If possible, round up the kiddos and greet him on the front porch. Not only will this let him know you’ve missed him all day but it also helps him realize how much he’s appreciated.
Give Him a Break:
This is one of the best marriage tips I’ve ever received and it’s made a world of difference. When we were newlyweds, I’d count down the minutes until my husband walked through the door. I’d run to him with a huge hug and kiss and start filling him in on the events of our day. I’d tell him all about the grocery cashier’s new grand-baby, the politician that called, the suspicious blue car that drove by our house too slowly (twice!), the burnt toast I had for breakfast. You name it, I talked about it. I had waited all day to talk to him so I bombarded him as soon as he got home.
Instead, I try to give him 15-30 minutes of peace and quiet to relax before I start telling him about our day. I want him to look forward to coming home to unwind. I don’t want to add to his already stressful days with every single detail of my day. Sure, I still tell him all about our day, but it waits until he’s had time to relax for a bit.
Often, we’re laying in bed before I have a chance to tell him all the details of my day. By then, his focus is on me and we can connect through my funny stories and everyday chaotic happenings.
Make His Life Easier:
So often, I will call my husband and ask him to swing by the store on the way home from work. I could easily go myself but it’s just easier to have him do it. And he doesn’t mind because he knows it’s making my life easier. It’s so important that we both make life easier for each other. Recognize when he’s overwhelmed and do what you can to take some of the stress off of him.
Sometimes this means getting up early to pack his lunch, or ironing his shirt before his big meeting or just helping him with his household chores. If you know your husband is extra-stressed, think of 3 things he loves for you to do and do them. Does he love banana bread? Bake him some! Does he hate taking out the trash? Do it for him! It’s simple, thoughtful gestures that will keep you madly in love with each other through the years.
It’s so easy to complain about all of your husbands flaws and shortcomings. Make it a habit to only speak highly of him, whether you are speaking to him or your friends. Lift him up and encourage him. Prove to him that you will always have his back and be on his team. Tell him the things you love and appreciate about him. Not only will your husband appreciate the loving words, but you children will pick up on the adoration. They, too, will mimic your love for not only your husband but also for their future spouse. So by making him feel like a great husband, he’ll strive to live up to your realistic expectations!
Of course, being a stay-at-home mom gives us a whole different playing field with our marriage. Work together to invest in the marriage you dream of. Hard as it may seem, there are some really easy ways to nurture your marriage as a stay-at-home mom. Doing a few little things can make a huge difference.
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