This post may contain affiliate links. Read the full disclosure for more information.
Divorce can be an extremely painful and stressful period in one’s life. Breaking up relationships is never easy, but divorce comes with feelings of loss and grief. Going through that alone is bad enough. But handling it while in college is a whole new level of challenge. It affects everything – from everyday routines to academic success. That’s why it is very important to approach this situation with care and reasonable planning. Here are several ways to balance a divorce with ongoing education.
Tips to Balance a Divorce with Ongoing Education
Acknowledge That You’ll Probably Need Help
Even if you can do it on your own, you definitely do not have to. At such an emotional moment, it is better to always have some type of help. Gather resources and contacts that can assist you with different parts of this process, for example:
- Relatives or friends that you can talk to;
- Places you can go in need of professional helps – therapists, whether private or college ones, counselors, etc.;
- Professionals for legal advice;
- College staff office hours when needed;
- College advisors, if you consider taking a break during divorce proceedings.
It is important to treat yourself with care and understand that there will be times when all you need to do is rest. It is hard to find time for mourning and dealing with feelings while in college. The curriculum is always overloaded with seminars, lectures, and written assignments.
Remember that it is perfectly normal that you might have no energy to give to that essay one day.
You need to prioritize what is more important right now, whether it is getting legal advice today or researching for an essay, for instance.
It is also fine if sometimes written assignments for college are just an afterthought. There is a way to get help for that too. “Can I place a request to write my paper for me with EssayPro writers when needed?” Of course, the answer is yes.
Professional academic writers can help one with any type of assignment and take at least some pressure off your shoulders. Whether you need time for divorce matters or simply to process everything going on, there is help out there. There is no shame in asking for it.
Allow Yourself to Grief
Divorce is not the same as a usual breakup. One not only has to deal with a failed partnership. It is about giving up on all the dreams, plans, and shared commitments. People get married to live “happily ever after” together. And giving up on those dreams is extremely painful and close to grieving.
Every part of one’s life is disrupted. It might feel like learning how to live once again from the start. Do not push those feelings away. Acknowledge them and their validity.
Allow yourself to mourn so that you can process them in a healthy way. Here are some things to do:
- Do not fight feelings;
- Talk about it to someone;
- Keep the end goal in mind – moving on;
- Remember that you still have a future ahead of you;
- Nurture yourself every day;
- Pay attention to your needs;
- Find things that make you feel better;
- Take time out or a break;
- Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms like drug or alcohol abuse;
- Be careful and keep track of how you feel;
- Know the difference between mourning and depression.
In case you notice depressive symptoms in yourself, consult with professionals. It is better to take care of it before it gets worse.
Create a New Routine
Routines are great at keeping people going even in the toughest times. When the previous routines are no longer existent, it is useful to create new ones. It includes organizing your life in a new way. You can do simple things like:
- Getting a planning app or schedule to keep up with educational deadlines and other important things;
- Getting up and going to bed at the same time;
- Finding new places for breakfast or a coffee where you can create new memories;
- Choosing a new route to college;
- Nurturing small habits that make you feel comfortable.
Planning and organizing daily life can help to stay focused on what is important. It is pretty easy to lose track of all deadlines in such a situation. Make sure you put them into the schedule and set reminders.
Take Care of Legal Matters
Another challenging thing about divorcing is all the legal matters that come with it. It is not as simple as just signing divorce papers. It is always good to seek out legal advice even before the process starts, so you know what is coming.
Some points of consideration include:
- Shared properties and assets;
- Current college debt and whether it is shared or not;
- College funds for your children and how they are going to be split;
- Other types of debts that are shared after divorce;
- Living situation, moving out, etc.
The exact regulations and proceedings depend on the place you reside in. For example, some US states consider college debt as a shared liability if it was acquired during the marriage. But others do not. And it all depends on the specific context of the marriage.
And the same concerns go for the college funds for your children.
Develop Financial Plan
This is another priority one has to deal with. Now, you’ll have to be financially independent again. It means providing for essentials and paying off debts. Even if your college debt was split, you still need to pay off your half.
To start, analyze all the income sources and disbursements you have. How much will it take to pay for all necessities in a month? Is there a need to earn more? Or can something be cut down?
If you need a new source of income, think about possible ways of achieving that. Consider employment prospects or working full-time while transferring to online education, for example.
Set a new bank account in your sole name in a different bank from your spouse. Get your own credit card if you didn’t have it before.
The longer you’ve been married, the more you have to discover about yourself now. After a divorce, you will notice that many things have changed. That doesn’t mean you can’t chase those dreams. It’s totally possible to balance divorce and ongoing education. It is time to learn more about that.
How have previous experiences shaped you? What new traits do you have now? How have your life goals changed? What are your new interests?
This can be very exciting to learn. Try new things out, find new hobbies, and learn something completely different, like a new language, for example. From trying a different style to changing a career path – do whatever feels right.
Although divorce is a painful process, it doesn’t have to be detrimental to one’s life and education. Try to have a balanced and healthy approach to that. Give space to the feelings and needs and create a new routine and keep track of deadlines. You can balance your divorce and ongoing education! Mourn the loss and keep moving forward to a new life and rediscovering yourself.